Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe

Holiday Fruitcake Recipe

1 Cup water
1 Cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl.

Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.

Pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup.

Turn off mixer.

Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of died fruit.

Mix on the turner.

If the dried fruit gets stuck to the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whickey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?

Check the whickesy.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or sumting, Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven.

Turn the cake tin to 350 decrees.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl out of the window.

Check the whic...wishh..jug.

Go to bed.

Who the heck likes cruitfrake anyway?

(Written by Anonymous)

Seems Like a Long Time

Seems like it's been awhile since my last post.

I've been working on a new blog with a friend -- keep your fingers crossed it makes us both a ton of money.

Let's see -- birdies are all well and fussing at me as I type. Nicholas still flicks his little wing but not as much.

I've moved most of my domains over to hostmonster.com, which is cheaper, has an easier-to-understand control panel, and 24/7 American support -- us Americans need all the jobs we can get, and when I'm wrangling with a tech problem at 8am on Sunday morning I do not want to fight the language barrier or hear how the offices are closed.

Piano lessons continue, one slow key at a time. Just when my fingers get used to being on one range of keys, O makes me move them to another range! But I'm trudging through anyway.

The women's chorus I'm in was requested to sing (for money!) at one of the international companies here in town. We covered all three shifts at different days, going in 90-minute sessions. I went last Saturday; it was fun to sing Christmas carols and the workers really seemed to enjoy it.

We're having our first winter storm of the season. Sleet, snow, ice. brrrrr

Now for the neighbors!

There have been the usual variety of unknown cars coming and going, especially on weekends. One weekend there were three cars in the driveway and about three more parked out in the street. But they're all quiet and no one comes around asking to use my phone to make long-distance calls.

Last Wednesday, the young woman who comes to clean my house (thank you gawd!) while I'm at work said the police stopped her at the entrance to the neighborhood (which is mostly rental property), demanding to know if she knew any of my neighbors. She said there were police cars and even those big police trucks, all surrounding a house about three doors down. She wanted to know if I knew them or any reason the police would show up.

Nope. There's only been one "incident" I know anything about and that was maybe eight or nine years ago. A couple of college boys, who lived in the SAME house, got drunk one night and started shooting guns out the door and in the house. The police evacuated everyone and by five in the morning, the kids were passed out and what seemed to be the entire police department were in the street. The police finally stormed the house and took the boys to jail and we were all released to go back to our homes.

I don't know what it is about that house.

Anyway, I happened to run into my next-door neighbor yesterday morning. He said he was home that day and "I was scared they were going to shoot me! They have their rifles drawn and everything," he told me.

Evidently nobody got shot and whoever they were after came out peacefully. And the neighbor was very nice and personable. As always.

I hope everyone is having a good holiday season. I'm going to my mom's and over eat!

Nicholas Update Update

Last weekend I figured Nicholas was fine and that it was probably my overactive imagination at work, but then I saw him scratch his head by moving his leg under his wing instead of over it. So Monday afternoon I took him back to the vet.

She did a good exam and found three short blood feathers under his "arm pit," and thinks maybe that's making him uncomfortable enough that we would move his leg under his wing and flip his wing the way he's been doing. She said give it a week or so for the feathers to grow out a little more, and if there's still a problem we'll do X-rays.

Above is a picture of Nicholas, though it's a bit overexposed. And below is a picture of Flash with that darling long curled crest. I swear, I have the cutest little birds in the whole world!

Changeling

L and I went to see The Changeling last night -- the 9:50 showing. We spent some time considering if we could actually stay awake long enough to see a movie that late, but Clint Eastwood made a movie you can't snooze through. I got home around 12:20 and because I'd had so much iced tea and coke, I stayed up until around 4, cruising the internet and learning about the true story the movie is based on. I think I'm too old to do that kind of stuff much anymore.

Cold and rainy here. I've spent a lot of money this weekend but mostly I've stayed home and played with birds and watched TV and even took a bunch of birdie pictures, which I haven't moved from my camera to the computer in my study and then moved back to my laptop (it's complicated). I did manage to write an article I'd been dreading, and I'm "working" on another one (letting my brain write it for me first, i.e., procrastinating).

Nicholas is the same. No difference between being on the pain med and off. I decided it was my imagination because he flew across the room the other day and does the eagle wing stanch, wings out, with no hesitation or problems. But yesterday morning I watched him scratch his head by moving his leg under his wing. Cockatiels normally move their legs over their wings to scratch.

So back we go to the vet tomorrow after work.

Oh, and I found a couple more parrot blogs this weekend, too.

How to Stuff Your Parrot on Thanksgiving!

This has been around for years -- I don't know the author, but they've sure given us a lot of laughs over the years.

HOW TO STUFF YOUR PARROT ON THANKSGIVING

Ingredients:
Turkey
Stuffing
Sweet Potatoes
Mashed Potatoes with Gravy
Green Beans
Cranberry Sauce
Hot rolls and Butter
Relish tray
Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream
Hot Coffee

Get up early in the morning & have a cup of coffee. It's going to be a long day, so place your Parrot on a perch nearby to keep you company while you prepare the meal.

Remove Parrot from kitchen counter and return him to perch.

Prepare stuffing, and remove Parrot from edge of stuffing bowl and return him to perch.

Stuff turkey & place it in the roasting pan, and remove Parrot from edge of pan and return him to perch. Have another cup of coffee to steady your nerves.

Remove Parrot's head from turkey cavity and return him to perch, and restuff the turkey.

Prepare relish tray, and remember to make twice as much so that you'll have a regular size serving after the Parrot has eaten his fill. Remove Parrot from kitchen counter and return him to perch.

Prepare cranberry sauce, discard berries accidentally flung to the floor by Parrot.

Peel potatoes, remove Parrot from edge of potato bowl and return him to perch.

Arrange sweet potatoes in a pan & cover with brown sugar & mini marshmallows. Remove Parrot from edge of pan and return him to perch. Replace missing marshmallows.

Brew another pot of coffee. While it is brewing, clean up the torn filter. Pry coffee bean from Parrot beak. Have another cup of coffee & remove Parrot from kitchen counter and return him to perch.

When time to serve the meal:

Place roasted turkey on a large platter, and cover beak marks with strategically placed sprigs of parsley.

Put mashed potatoes into serving bowl, rewhip at last minute to conceal beak marks and claw prints.

Place pan of sweet potatoes on sideboard, forget presentation as there's no way to hide the areas of missing marshmallows.

Put rolls in decorative basket, remove Parrot from side of basket and return him to perch.

Remove beaked rolls, serve what's left.

Set a stick of butter out on the counter to soften - think better and return it to the refrigerator.

Wipe down counter to remove mashed potato claw tracks. Remove Parrot from kitchen counter and return him to perch.

Cut the pie into serving slices. Wipe whipped cream off Parrot's beak and place large dollops of remaining whipped cream on pie slices.

Whole slices are then served to guests, beaked-out portions should be reserved for host & hostess.

Place Parrot inside cage & lock the door.

Sit down to a nice relaxing dinner with your family - accompanied by plaintive cries of "WANT DINNER!" from the other room.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!