Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe

Holiday Fruitcake Recipe

1 Cup water
1 Cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl.

Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.

Pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup.

Turn off mixer.

Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of died fruit.

Mix on the turner.

If the dried fruit gets stuck to the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whickey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?

Check the whickesy.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or sumting, Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven.

Turn the cake tin to 350 decrees.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl out of the window.

Check the whic...wishh..jug.

Go to bed.

Who the heck likes cruitfrake anyway?

(Written by Anonymous)