Friday, October 16, 2009

ashes to ashes


It's been almost three weeks since Sugar Franklin died. I finally cleared out the cart her cage sat on, cleaned her cage, and put them both out in the little storage building. The suddenly cleared space seems enormous now and I'm still getting used to it. There doesn't seem to be anything I can put in that place -- not the play stand, not a chair, nothing seems to fit.

When I come home I still catch myself looking for her. The other birds are sometimes glad to see me, sometimes not. But Sugar Franklin always ran back and forth, back and forth, in excitement to see me and hoping I'd bring her out first.

I'm also slowly remembering to only get out two food dishes instead of three. I've noticed that it seems to take a lot less time to feed my three remaining birds and that there is more time to pay them individual attention. I hadn't been aware of how much time and attention I'd given her.

Nicholas seemed to miss her the most at first. For several days he kept giving me alarm calls; when I would check on him he would turn his head and lean his little body toward her empty cage. They all seem now accustomed to her absence.

My plan, when receiving Sugar Franklin's ashes, was to put some into a pendant I could wear whenever I missed her too much. The rest I would bury under the tree where the bird feeder stands. I bought a wind flower ornament (www.intothewind.com) with bright colors that spin in the wind to mark her grave, but later I decided it might startle the wild birds.

When I hired two guys to do some end-of-summer yard work, I had one of them dig a small deep hole for her grave. Later I looked at the pile of dirt and simply couldn't bear to think of her ashes in that cold, wet dark place.

Then I considered just holding the ashes in my palm and letting the wind take them. After all, she was a bird, a creature of the wind. But Sugar Franklin didn't fly all that much, and I was always so afraid I might forget she was on my shoulder and go outside and lose her.

What it came down to, I finally realized, was that she belongs here at home with me. So I ordered a small container for the rest of her ashes, which I will put away someplace safe out of the sight of visitors.

Only ashes, I know, but as someone told me last week, everyone's grief is their own, and I won't apologize for whatever form of insanity her loss has brought me.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

My Little Yellow Bird


June 11, 1998
September 29, 2009

Thank you for all of the joy, and for making these past eleven years the very best of my life.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Sugar Franklin on Sunday

This morning I sat and watched Sugar Franklin run back and forth, back and forth, in her cage at approximately 70 miles an hour, wanting out. I took her out and she's now on my shoulder, helpfully chirping directly into my ear. She occasionally stretches out, first one wing and then the other. Her weight on my shoulder feels normal and solid. Sometimes she faces forward to chirp at the other birds, then she'll turn around and chirp at the couch.

It has been so long since she's been this happy and active and vocal -- you'd never know how sick she's been. I am so grateful to the vets, the techs, my friends, and the Great Parrot Spirit that she's still here to poop on my shoulder and chirp in my ear.

I think I'll go get the big bag of Nutriberries. She's earned one.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Good Bird! (I hope)

I'm so proud of Charli. I would have posted this when it happened, but I've been too busy with other stuff.

Our routine in the morning is for me to uncover the birds. Charli demands a little scritch to start her day (unless she'd rather bite me), so I unlock the cage, scritch her little head, lock the cage, and go on about my business.

One day a week or so ago I got home from work and said hello to all the birds. I went to Charli's cage and saw that the door was open! She was in her Hide 'n Sleep, looking at me casually, as if I always leave her cage door open.

Evidently I'd forgotten to close and lock it that morning. I examined her closely to be sure she was all right, then I went through the house to see what damage she might have done while I was gone.

Nothing was damaged or out of place. It was as though she didn't leave her cage all day.

I'm a lot more careful in the mornings now. Just in case.

Poor Little Sugar

In this picture she looks like she's been in a fight.

The real story is that she had a tiny nick in the air sac behind the vein while having blood drawn at the vet's. This air sac circulates through the head and usually heals/closes very quickly, but not in this case.

She has blood in her beak and her nares, but she's okay! This should clear up in about a week. She's eating like a pig, drinking healthy amounts of water, producing perfect poops, and bossing me around -- just like always.

I'd taken her in to check on her uric acids; first time since that awful few weeks back in June. Unfortunately, her levels this time were 21; normal is 10. This means we have to go back to meds for some indeterminate time. We're not starting this week in order to give her time to clear up the blood issue.

I sure do dread giving meds, but I'm glad she's doing as well as she is.